As any resident of the lower mainland can surely attest, the Canucks' logo isn't exactly a rare sight. While admittedly it hasn't quite reached the same level of cultural transcendency as something like the New York Yankees' omnipresent "NY" symbol (endorsed by approximately half of all rappers), it's hard to avoid running into the angry dolphin at least a good 15 times while walking down the street on any normal day - harder still if there's a home game going on.
Knowing this, I'm sure you're all just dying to know what your Canucks jersey says about you. Or, rather, what some random blogger thinks it does. If this is indeed the case, then you're in luck because that's exactly what this blog post is about! And if it's not the case, well, go read I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER or something. Because this is where the fun begins, and if that fun isn't...
You know what? That sentence I was beginning right there? It was awful. So I killed it. Yeah, that's right. I'm a stone-cold killer, yo. And with that in mind, I think it's time to write about some branded merchandise. Oh yeah.
1) The new jersey
Chances are, if you have one of these already you're a hardcore fan in the nastiest way. These suckers are expensive as all hell and not usually regarded as being all that attractive, but simply owning one shows the world that you're not only enough of a fan to blow some $100+ on a single shirt but you're also on the cutting edge, that you've always got the newest stuff just as it comes out. As such, a lot of people probably hate you, but rest assured they're all just jealous. Jealous that you're rocking the latest and greatest and they're stuck with a nasty old '80s jersey possibly purchased from the Salvation Army. Or something along those lines.
2) An old-style jersey, but purchased new
You see a lot of these around, particularly the vintage 1972 style. Wearing a jersey from one particular era shows either a strong sense of loyalty to that time period (usually the case with the '80s jersey styles) or simply a preference for a more 'old-school' aesthetic (almost always the case with the original). Chances are, if you have one of these you're a serious fan but not obsessive; you're probably going to get the new jersey as well but you're giving it some time.
3) One of those horrible pink-and-white "women's" jerseys
I'm not sure who thought these up, but I think it's telling that I've never seen a woman actually wearing one. There are many ways that the NHL merchandising department could've made jerseys more appealing to the female portion of hockey fandom, but of them all I think making team logos pink and sparkly was probably be the most offensively stupid way possible. Well, next to perhaps modifying them to show cleavage, but I like to believe nobody even bothered suggesting that one while designing these. Anyways, if you wear one of these... I can't really say what you're like, because I've never seen you and I'm not entirely convinced you even actually exist.
4) First-generation angry dolphin, purchased at any point in time
Pretty much the standard, about 70% of the Canucks jerseys you're likely to see are of the '97 variety. Which makes it hard to say much about the wearer - they could be anybody. Could be somebody who's never so much as seen a game but likes to seem like they're supporting our team. Could be a huge fan who just doesn't see the need to buy another jersey. Could be someone who's just wearing one to fit in. Could be me. Could be you. Could be anyone in the world. OK, so maybe not quite anyone and definitely not me (I don't own a Canucks jersey, surprise surprise), but you get my drift.
5) Ratty old jersey purchased from a thrift store
Probably not that much of a fan, since chances are when one goes into a thrift store one isn't specifically looking for a certain sports team's sweater. (Does anyone still call jerseys 'sweaters'?) But hey, at least you cared enough to buy one - makes you more of a fan than me, and that's probably enough in most people's books.
Well, I believe that just about covers the different types out there. Also, if anyone has photographic evidence of someone actually wearing one of the women's jerseys, I'd like to see it because as it stands now I still can't bring myself to believe they're not just some big, sick joke.
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4 comments:
I say we make the whole team wear those pink atrocities for one game. We'd never have to see them (the jerseys) again!
Well here's the thing. Every NHL team has a sparkly pink women's variation. So just getting the Canucks to wear them wouldn't be enough - it would have to be a league-wide event. Then the menace would truly be vanquished.
Hahaha, forget about having retro games, where both teams where the 1970's version of their jersey, lets have the womens' games.
All the players on both teams must wear the pink and sparkly version of their team jersey.
And the refs have to wear white and pinked striped shirts.
When I look at the Canucks' logo I see a constipated killer whale, not so much a dolphin. But it is still pretty lacking of anything remotely "Canucks." The "new" old jersey is just as bad. BORING!
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